ER

Life is not like it is on TV.  I know I'm not telling you anything you don't already know.  But, still, I had high expectations of working in the Emergency Room.  I watched ER until the bitter end.  Saving lives and unrealistically gorgeous doctors.  Weird diseases and sad, complicated patient cases that I would solve by drawing a few labs and giving a few meds.  Awwww.......I still dream of Luka and Dr Green...........and spunky Nurse Sam. 

I had clinicals in the ER yesterday........and it kicked my butt!  It was interesting, you never knew what was going to come in.  My nurse was good; she was patient, asked me lots of questions about why we were giving this med or why the doctor ordered that test.  The patients were interesting and we ran our butts off doing all the things that needed to be done.  Hanging I.V.s, pushing morphine, transporting patients, inserting catheters.......a nursing student's dream.  Right? 

Well, not so much

You see, it was all about tasks (do this, give this med, document that).  Other than getting the patient's history, there was hardly any time to talk to the patients.  The nurses were good, don't get me wrong.....they literally save lives everyday.  They are heroes.  But, ER nursing is not for me. 

Even though I thought it would be.

I prefer time to visit with my patients, time to research their condition, time to teach them about how they can take care of themselves,  answering their families questions, providing re assurance.  And while I understand that nursing is about the "tasks"  (giving meds, starting I.V.'s, cleaning wounds) all of that comes in a distant second to being a healer--treating the mind, body, and spirit of the patient and their family. 

The ER nurse simply did not have time to do more than the task at hand.  And, I respect her talent, her ability to prioritize and think on her feet.  Her skills were impressive and she cared about doing her best for each patient.  She was amazing at her job.  But, that type of nursing is not for me.

I have found that the high-acuity nursing jobs have been my favorite (doing a lot for a few critically ill patients).  Having 1-2 patients per shift is what I find myself drawn to.  I like having more time to interact with the patient on a personal level, even if it is helping them to the bathroom or giving a bed bath.  I like being able to teach the family, ask the patient about where they are from and how many kids they have. 

I am guilty of spending 3 hours visiting with an elderly man during one of my rotations because when I left him he spent his time calling "NURSE!  NURSE!" down the hall.  I enjoy interviewing my patients for my detailed case studies, getting the whole story about what has brought them to the hospital.  I like to listen to them tell me about their adventures.  They have taught me more than any book ever could.

And, even if that patient is on a ventilator and unconscious, I can still focus on doing so much more for that patient and their family than the ER would ever allow me.  So, I am going to pay my dues and do what I need to do in order to be an ICU or hospice nurse.  

So, all I will have of the ER is the reruns of the show that began my love of nursing.