almost ready......

We are almost ready for Christmas. I am looking forward to a day at home with the kids and Dave. We are planning on making some treats and watching movies....just hanging out together. Just a few more things to do, then can enjoy myself.

Peace

I said a couple of heart felt prayers thanking God for all that I have. This simple act brought a feeling of peace and made it easier to see the humor in things. Why didn't I think of that before? I know that I have a great support system in friends and family, but I forget the spiritual support that is there whenever I need it. Sometimes I just need a little reminder. Thanks guys :)

Bah humbug!

I usually love this time of year, but as my 34th birthday approaches, I find myself in a funk. I am tired of trying to look at the bright side. This is usually something that is like second nature to me. I feel a little disoriented. I know things will get better. I have faith that I will not be given anything I can't handle. I just feel like being depressed. I don't know how else I can say it.

I hope that I can get out of this before too long so that I can enjoy the Holidays. And, as I type that, I know part of my funk is due to the holidays. I am frustrated about how commercial Christmas has gotten and this battles with the guilt of wanting to give the kids a great Christmas. I want the holiday to be about family and sharing time together and not about the price tag, but I feel pressure to make it more than that.

Any suggestions?

I belive..........

Okay, so I needed to post an update and this was sitting there in my in box. I won't take credit for writing it, but I found it inspirational. And, I really do believe.

I Believe... That just because two people argue, that doesn't mean they don't love each other. And just because they don't argue, that doesn't mean they do love each other.

I Believe...That sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.

I Believe...That we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.

I Believe...That no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.

I Believe...That true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.

I Believe... That you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.

I Believe...That it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.

I Believe...That you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.

I Believe... That you can keep going long after you think you can't.

I Believe...That we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.

I Believe...That either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I Believe...That heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.

I Believe...That money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I Believe...That my best friend and I can do anything, or nothing, and have the best time.

I Believe....That sometimes the people you expect to kick you When you're down will be the ones to help you get back up.

I Believe...That maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had, and what you've learned from them...and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.

I Believe...That it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes, you have to learn to forgive yourself.

I Believe...That no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.

I Believe...That our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are,but we are responsible for who we become.

I Believe...That you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.

I Believe...Two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.

I Believe...That your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you.

I Believe...That even when you think you have no more to give, if a friend cries out to you...you will find the strength to help.

I Believe...That credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.

I Believe...That the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon.

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything;They just make the most of everything. Thank you God for all the wonderful people who help us throughout the journey of life...

Empty Nest at age 33?

There is an odd quiet in the house. Dave is reading, I am studying and the girls, they are gone. The come home from school to do their chores, maybe we will see them for dinner. Otherwise they are out with their friends. With my work and school schedule, some days I don't even see them. Dave assures me that they are still alive. They are too cool to hang out with us old fuddy-duddies.

We have a glimpse of the rest of our lives, when the kids grow up and move out. Quiet evenings at home with a good book or a good movie, just me and Dave. I am glad to say that we enjoy each others company. We discuss books, politics, watch Gilmore Girls. It is a subdued, calm existence. Once in a while we will mix things up and go out to a movie, or down to St George. This would occur more often if we had more money. But, I am satisfied with a trip to the used book store here in Cedar, maybe Beto's for lunch.

I also look forward to the time when our kids will realize how cool we have always been. For me, this stage did not come until I moved out of my parent's house. I loved to go visit them, and just sit and talk-I still do. They are just the same as they have always been, only my view and appreciation for them changed. It does get kind of lonely without the kids sometimes. Thank goodness for forced family outings. :)

you gotta see this......

Anthony Bourdain-No Reservations
I never thought I would like it: a travel show about an ex hippie stoner that seeks out the most disgusting cuisines in distant lands. Dave would watch it and laugh, and I would go into the other room. Dave reminded of the time that I chastised him for watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer only to find myself an adoring fan of the surprisingly profound and intellectual teen drama once I gave it a chance. So I gave in to those baby blue eyes, and braced myself for an hour of boredom as I sat down to watch an episode with him.

Anthony Bourdain is a chef and a writer, and his show is a perfect melding of these two arts. The first episode I remember was about China. He travels with a friend, usually some one he knows from his years as a chef. They go to the out of the way places far out of the "tourist" range and really explore the culture and the native food. He is invited into the homes of the locals and celebrates their customs with them. His narration is emotional-the mood ranges from witty to profound. It makes me think. It makes me laugh. It makes me want to write with a talent like his.In this episode, they are in a little restaurant at the local market. Him and his traveling companion are devouring some disgusting-looking squid ink dish and talking about how people, despite their differences, all want the same basic things. It is touching, hilarious and thought provoking. I am entertained and enlightened. I am linked with these people, these cultures so different than my own. I have been hooked ever since.

It is a show that blends the things that Dave and I love-writing, food and sarcasm. It has opened my eyes to many cultures and lifestyles. Even though it gets into some subjects that make me uncomfortable (an clip of Spaniards butchering a cow comes to mind) it is always presented as the true way that these people live. Though it may be offensive to some, it is every day survival for them, and that I can appreciate. It has made me appreciate things like running water and a bed to sleep in. It has opened my eyes to how we are all the same, how we all want the same basic things: good food, a sense of belonging, and faith in each other.

Heather Marie ventures into the world of adulthood.

Crazy to think about, even wilder to experience. The sweet, goofy girl is now 18. Dave and I can say that we have done a mighty fine job, but we are not done yet. Do children ever really grow up in their parent's eyes?

Heather is compassionate. She has a great sense of humor. She is outgoing, friendly-loves to be around children. She is determined, a social butterfly. She loves to eat sushi, steak, seafood and will try any food at least once. She has a strong sense of adventure and is always active. She loves to watch movies, play the guitar, running and hiking. She is tall and beautiful--the boys are starting to notice. She does what she wants and could care less about what anyone thinks about her. She is an individual and is not afraid to go against the grain. She is doing well in school, but is still undecided on what to do after graduation--nanny, military, college, working--they all seem full of adventure to her (Dave and I are trying to get her to commit to college or the military, either one is fine by us) We are proud of her. She has all the tools to be a success in life. Watch out world, here she comes.

sarcastic wit turns me on

Put on a Happy Face

So, I am mostly back to my Happy-self. I think I have found my resolve again. Do you see my resolve face? The admissions secretary said that everything on my application (except for GPA) is as good or better than the other applicants. They want to be sure that I will be able to pass the licensing exam, which I can understand. I got some good advice about the essay portion of the application. I will take Chem 1120 for a third time, and work my butt off to get an A, which will bring up my GPA. Plus, the classes I am ROCKING this semester will help increas that all important number. I will also start preparing for the NCLEX (the licensing exam) and reviewing old pathophysiology and anatomy notes so that I can BLOW THEIR MIND when the let me in!

Now, if only Dave could find a job....................

P.S.

Thanks to you for your love, support and willingness to listen ( or read). You all know who you are, and I am glad to have you all around to help me pick myself up and get on with life. You will never know how much a few simple words can do. I love you!

the ABC's of Judgement

What does an A say about the kind of person I am?

What does a B say about my 11 years as a Medical Assistant and 10 years of volunteer work, both adding to literally thousands of hours in the medical field?

What does a C say about the kind of student I am, the sacrifices my family and I make every day or the kind of nurse I will be when given the chance?

Apparently, it says everything. Frustrating, but true. Time to give more than I ever thought I could.

again, I say "Next?....."

Dave checked the mail on Thursday and called me to tell me that THE letter from the SUU nursing department was there. He was in the parking lot of the clinic and I was on my way there-I had to stop and get gas.
"Is it a big or small envelope?" I asked, trying to sound as casual as possible.
"It is small, but it feels thick." He replied. My mind went right to the worst case scenario. I tried to make excuses for the small envelope; maybe they did not send the big package because I have already completed the background check, maybe they will give the packets out at the orientation meeting. I tried to find the positive vibe.
When I got there, he handed the envelope over with a anticipatory grin. I slid my finger under the flap and pulled out the pages. I opened them and scanned the first page. there in the middle of the first paragraph "........you have not been selected for the Spring 2010 BSN program." My throat closed as I tried to put on a brave face. I handed the letter back to Dave, but he knew what it said from the look in my eyes. The next thing I knew, I had my face buried in hes chest, crying and frustrated. What a blow to my ego! Nobody wants this more than I do! All my hard work and sacrifice seemed worthless. What is it that they want me to do? What else do I have to prove? I cried until I left a big wet spot on Dave's shirt.
After I got myself composed, I went into the clinic. But, I was not done crying yet. All my coworkers knew that something was wrong, and I could barely tell them that I did not get in, again. They offered support, and hugs, bless them, but the hugs just made me cry harder. I decided to take the afternoon off. I went for a drive to clear my head.
It was not as easy to find my resolve this time. I cried on and off all afternoon. When I got home, Dave offered some chocolate and another hug. He had bought it to surprise me at work, but I did not tell anyone where I was going. I was feeling a little better, but I knew it was not out of my system yet. I texted my friend Julia (she is currently in the nursing program) to tell her the bad news. She was upset with me, and we complained about the injustice of it all. I needed to be angry this time. I needed to let myself be upset and frustrated and rejected. I will be ready to move on Monday, but this weekend is for letting it all out.
I have a meeting with the admissions secretary on Wednesday, and I am already working on my Fall 2010 application. Now is the time to focus on my grades and keep my 3 A's this semester. I might even be able to pull an A of in stats. I will also find time to volunteer at the local nursing home (I got connections) and get all the help I can with my application essay. I will meet with the head of the program as well, and find out what I need to do to get in next fall. I am finding my resolve. I will persevere. On Monday, I will be ready to say ".......okay, what next?........"

Doughnut Trees

When I was a little girl, my dad told me that If I planted Cheerios in the ground they would grow into doughnut trees. He also told me that brown cows made chocolate milk. I thought he knew everything, and I believed him. And I planted my Cheerios.

The relationship between dad and daughter is not always an easy one, but there is no denying the magic. I see Dave struggling to let his little girl go. Heather will be 18 in less than a month. It is not easy for either of us, but Dave is finding it difficult to realize that we need to let her make some of her own decisions, and her own mistakes. I can see the pride in his eyes when he talks about her--a pride that is mixed with the pain of knowing she is a woman now. I think the pain is because he is not sure of what his role in her life is. She still calls him Daddy and in the same breath she is arguing with him about her plans for next year. I am not sure how to help.

I remember this stage between myself and my own father, and I tell Dave "at least she's not pregnant!" (on my 18th birthday, Drew was a clump of cells in my uterus, only a few weeks old)
Dave does NOT see the humor in that. I tell him that he will always be her daddy, no matter how old she is. I also tell him that she will grow up and make mistakes and do things that we won't approve of (can we say Mickey Mouse tattoo?) but she will always come back and we will always be there for her. There is something so amazing about knowing that your dad will always love you, no matter how bad you screw up. Knowing that he will be there to celebrate the good times and he will help you fix the hard times. It is comforting to know that he will always tease you and tell you to check the oil in your car, call you and lay the guilt down for not calling him first. I know these things because I have a daddy of my own.
As for the Cheerios, one morning I went out to water them and to my amazement, they had finally sprouted. There in the ground were tree branches with powdered doughnuts on the branches. The magic had worked.

MACK, est. 2001

Still together and going strong......

I never thought that I could love Dave any more than I loved him on our wedding day, but a lifetime together--raising our kids, overcoming, persevering, laughing--has made my love for him grow everyday. I would not want it any other way.

Kolob Canyon

Another family trek, minus Theresa-she had other stuff to do. It was great to spend time talking to mom and dad on the trail. We almost go rained on, had to head back to the car early when the thunder rolled in. All in all, a good time.




Drew and Dad are almost the same height.



Yes, Dad did hike in his motorcycle boots...............



Dave and Heather havin a snack.






This is the sand that was left in my shoes when we got home. Love red dirt!

I don't usualyl blog about politics, but...........

This Acorn scandal scares the crap out of me. Dave has been watching Glenn beck all weekend. For those of you who don't watch FOX news, ( as the other networks are NOT reporting on this) an independent amature film maker went into the Acorn offices with a hidden camera. The tapes reveal Acorn workers instructing these clients on how to purchase a house to use as a brothel and import underage girls from another country to use in the sex industry without getting caught. And, this is with OUR TAX DOLLARS! I am asking you to review the tapes yourself. Left or right--you should be outraged! The story is available on the FOX news website. Even my teenage kids can smell the corruption.

It's a mystery

My hair looks good, but only if styled by a professional. For some reason, when I attempt to torture it straight by applying the flat iron (on the scorch setting) it does not always yield. It will be straight in some parts, kind of fuzzy in others. It looks dull ( like it has been burnt, maybe....?) and the minute it encounters any humidity, the curly wins. So, when I get a trim I always have it styled. I play close attention to the steps the stylist takes (Kenzie at Divine Appointment here in Cedar is great!) noting what goo she applies and when. I can never reproduce it the next day. Would it be weird if I asked her for step by step instructions? Most days, I make my natural curl appear mostly tamed, but sometimes I long for that sleek shiny hair of Panteen commercial fodder. I usually don't get so hung up on appearance, but if I look good, I feel good and Lord knows I need to feel good these days. How do those girls do it?

My church has no walls

It consists of those little everyday things; doing what I can for the people in my life. It is in the kindness of strangers, the love of my family. It is being thankful for what I have and appreciating the beauty all around me--a laughing child, birds chirping, sunsets. It is believing in the good of mankind and contributing my part to make the world a better place. It is having faith that there is a master plan; that everything happens for a reason; that I will never be given a challenge that I can't handle. It is standing in awe of all that he has created, and feeling his love in my heart as I gaze at the blue sky above. My god is too big to fit into one religion.

"..................Next?........."

I did not get a spot in the nursing program at SUU this semester. I only cried for 1/2 an hour. Then I decided to crash my own pity-party and start making plans. I registered for classes this semester; a full load (16 credit hours) and chose classes that would diversify my application for next semester:

Medical Terminology--required for pre med but not for nursing, and since I have 10+ years in the medical field, it should be easy.

Spanish-- begining level, but it is a college class so it will be challenging. And, having some spanish conversational skills will look good on that magic nursing program application.

Thinking and Listening Critically-- This is one of the suggested classes for the nursing program; you can choose this class or Humanities. I took Humanities, so now I am taking this one. Then I will have BOTH classes (That will show them how ambitious I am!)

Stats--The math class that has not yet yielded anything higher than a B-, maybe the third time is a charm..........

Intro to Visual Art-- just for fun.

I was pretty upset at first. I ran in to one of my friends at the local coffee shop the next morning (she got a spot, and I am happy for her) and she helped me feel better about it. Really this was not the best time for me to start. I need to work full time for a little longer for reasons some of you know. She offered to help me with the application essay and let me borrow her spanish and terminology books. I also talked to my parents and they reminded me how tough I am. Dave gave me his big shoulder to cry on and bought me some ice cream. I have a new resolve.

On Saturday morning the college radio station broadcast a motivational speech given by Professor Martin ( a well known motivational speaker, I'm guessing) and to make a long story short, he said (very eloquently) that he never heard "NO", he just heard "Next". How very motivating!

Friends

As I get older I find that the need to connect with my past grows stronger. I am so different from the girl I was in High school, so I don't really understand the longing I have to reconnect with old friends. Part of it may be that they all contributed a little part of the woman I am today. Part of it sadness for the fact that I lost touch with them in the first place. I am a sentimental fool; that much has not changed.

Maybe I am not as different as I thought I was. I hope that I am a lot smarter. I know I am not as naive. The world has taught me to be cautious with my optimism. I still love a good laugh. I keep only a few close friends-but to them I am fiercely loyal. My family is my top priority. My husband is my best friend and he knows how to make me smile no matter how angry I am. I still have a nervous giggle.

I guess that reconnecting with old friends reminds me of all the ways I am still the same, and at the same time shows me how far I have come. It is an enigma. I need to be reminded that once I wandered the streets of Park City, singing songs from Grease at the top of my lungs, not the slightest bit embarrassed that I was out of tune.

Application to Date my Daughter

Dave found an application for potential boyfriends to fill out. It includes such questions as "Do you have access to a van/truck/station wagon?" and "If you answered yes, why are you not running?". His favorite one was "Just so you know, if you make my daughter cry, I will make you cry--do you agree?" I laughed when he showed me that he had printed 10 copies and put them on his clipboard. It is still sitting by his chair. I think he's serious.

Heart break

Well.......it happened. Heather came bursting in the door last night and fell right into my arms sobbing. Her boyfriend broke up with her by text message.


Oh, how it brought back memories of my own heartaches. I was in 9th grade the first time some stupid boy broke my heart. His name started with a C and ended in -ody. I still remember sitting on my bed with my mom's arms around me, sobbing until my throat hurt. The was the first of many broken hearts. A stream of boyfriends and hopeless crushes plays in my mind. I was such a silly girl, I still am. Though those break ups were painful, they have shaped me into the person I am today. They are part of becoming a woman. And, I must say I can look back at those broken hearts ans smile about most of them. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

Heather will learn from this pain. She will grow into a woman. And what is up with this boy sending her a text message to deliver the bad news? What a chicken! I wonder what this generation is learning about communication and relationships when they do 90% of their communication on Facebook and text messages?!?! Maybe I am just too old to get it.

The ABC's of the Mack Family

A is for Angie, the mom of the bunch, trying to keep everyone in line
B is for Buffy the Vampire Slayer- our family's favorite teen-angst drama
C is for Uncle Cris, Angie's little brother. He is still a brat, but we love him
D is for Dave. Dave: the Man, the Myth, the Legend--need I say more?
E means excited--Heather and Theresa are excited to start scholl, Drew- not so much
F stands for Family-it is a priority for us all. I don't know where we would be without our families looking out for us.
G is for girls- as in 2 teenage girls. Dave is trying to scare away all the boys.
H means Heather Marie, our track star. She will be working hard to set a state record this year.
I is for ice-cream--we all love it, maybe a little too much.
J stands for jokes- Dave and heather are full of them. They keep the laughter flowing.
K means Krazy--i know that is a cheat, but I can't think of anything else to say here......
L is for love- we are full of love, and I realize how lucky I we are to still be madly in love with each other
M is for Mack, of course. It si pretty cool to have a company that shares our name, but I refuse to wear a hoodie that says "built like a Mack truck"
N stands for normal, which we proudly are not :)
O means outside, where the kids are most of the time. Dave and I are witnessing the kids spreading their wings.......
P is for pots and pans. Dave has a talent for getting everysingle one of them dirty to create one meal, but I won't complain. (Okay, I will complain....)
Q is for quiet- Dave and I love to spend quiet nights at home either reading, watching a movie or just talking and snuggling
R means remeber when. I look at pictures of the kids from our wedding and i can't believe how much they have grown--physically and emotionally. They are all taller than me.
S is for "stinky", our universal term of endearment.
T stands for Theresa. Our spunky girl goes by Caitlyn at school, but to us she will always be tiny Theresa.
U is for all of you, and how thankfull we are to have you all as a part of our world.
V is for video games. Still Drew's favorite way to waste time. He also prefers comic books, hiking, and listening to music.
W means whatever happens, through thick and thin, we will always have eachother.
X is for the XBox Dave and Drew beg me for........Someday.......
Y stands for years-we have been together for 9 years, married for 8, lived in Cedar City for 5 and the kids are: Heather 17, Theresa 16, and Drew 15 years of age.
Z means "Zat's all folks!" Ha, ha, ha!

I tag Crystal, Elisa, Hiram, Becca.

Theresa

Sweet 16. I can hardly believe it! She is passionate, witty, contemplative--so much like her Dad. Her artwork and creativity amaze me. She works hard at her goals and won't let anything derail her ambitions. She loves music; and will listen to anything that is "good" (which includes heavy metal, top 40, oldies, country, 80's stuff.....) She loves to be active-exploring, drawing, walking, anything to be out of the house. She earns mostly A's in school and can participate in our "grown up" discussions of politics and current events. I remeber when she would be he last one at the breakfast table because she had to eat her Fruit Loops one color at a time. I can count on her to be the responsible kid and keep the other 2 in line. She has a bright future ahead, and we are honored to be her parents.

Drew

15 years ago, he changed my world forever. He entered the world at 2 lbs, 9 oz and 9 weeks early. We grew up a lot, together. He has great taste in music (TMBG, Beattles, AC/DC, My Chemical Romance, Guns and Roses, much more), plays the trumpet, loves animal documentaries. He has developed a good sense of humor and is still refining when to employ this sarcasm. He still LOVES Star Wars; I remember when he would have me wear the laundry basket on my head and say to me "you be Darff, I be Guke." as he handed me the broomstick/lightsaber. He hangs out with his friends (including Heather and Theresa) most of the time. They go on hikes and play video games. He has grown so much and is an amzing person. I am proud of the young man he is and look forward to the joy he has yet to bring us. He still gives me unsoliceted hugs, I will enjoy it while they last.

Hands out, mouths closed

I got paid today, and I have the afternoon off work. I stopped on my way home to cash my check so that I could give the kids some allowance. I wanted to show them how much I appreciate them doing their chores and following our rules (for the most part). I saw Drew first when I walked in the door, scarfing down a PB&J for lunch. I handed him the cash and asked that he not spend it on junk food.
"I wont." He said with his mouth full of sandwich. (See the above mention of rules--No talking with a mouth full of food, not a big one but still important)He folded the cash and put it in his pocket. I also handed him the money to disperse to the girls. He finished his lunch and disappeared upstairs. All the kids came down a few minutes later, the girls had some lunch and made plans. They told us where they would be and what they would be doing (again, the rules-but this time a plus on their side) Theresa needed a ride to do her volunteer work, Heather and Drew were going to a friends house and to Gamestop. The later left with mumbled goodbyes, the former got her ride and said "See you later!" when she got out of the car, that was that. All I wanted was for some one to say "Thanks, Mom." Maybe next time.......

Losee Canyon

We went on a Family trek a couple of weekend ago in Losee canyon, just off the scenic Highway 89 by Bryce Canyon (all the beauty of Bryce, no entrance fee). We had a picnic lunch, then hit the trail. It was practically deserted, we only ran across one group on horse back. The views were spectacular and the weather was perfect at 72 degrees. We hiked for an hour or so, the kids ran ahead and Dave and I started back to the trail head, knowing they would catch up to us old farts. We finished off the day by taking 89 the rest of the way home, coming in to Cedar City through the canyon.






I love getting out on the trail and spending time with my family. The kids are growing up so fast, and their time in the nest is short. I want to get it all in while we still can.

Canyon Park

About 6 blocks from our house, there is a small park with a trail that leads you into Cedar Canyon. After a 5 min trek, you are surrounded by stunning scenery. The kids use this trail to access other areas in the canyons where they spend much of their Spring and Summer. Dave and I use the trail for a quiet walk, time to talk or for a family activity. We are lucky to have this little treasure so close to us.
It is nice to walk along the trail and reflect, contemplate and appreciate the beauty of life.

Dave and I are nerds

But, we are totally okay with that. Star Wars, Star Trek, Buffy the Vampire Slayer and other sci-fi staples dot our conversations, fill our TV screen and our bookshelves. We are perfectly happy to spend Friday night with a good book in hand, cuddled on the couch or in bed. We love to go to the used bookstore and search for treasures. We sing along to Queen, The Beatles and Disney soundtracks. Our kids can quote Monty Python, know the difference between a Klingon and a Vulcan, and though they do not appreciate a good book, they are more "cultured" in science fiction and real music than their peers. It is our goal to convert them into full-fledged nerds, because the wolrd always needs more. Live long and prosper, and may the force be with you, always!

I just realized that Drew will be 15 this summer!

Of course, logically, I already knew that, but the fact seemed to hit me on the head this weekend. Next summer he will be driving! His voice is getting deeper, and we have real, insightfull conversations about world issues. He is not my Drewper any more, but a young man.


Heather took 9th place in the 3A state finals in shot put, Cedar High placed 2nd overall. This is the summer before her senior year of high school. She will be a legal adult soon, and this time next year she will be on her way to college. She is a loving, caring young woman.


Theresa is doing volunteer work and AP Art ove the summer. She will be 16 in July. The boys have been prowling around the house all spring. Dave gives them dirty looks. She is super smart, level headed, ambitious. She will be submitting an application for sterling scholar next year.

Maybe we done raised these kids good!

Rocky Road

It is the best ice cream flavor out there--the nuts, the marshmallows, the CHOCOLATE! I have loved it for as long as I can remember. Dave tries to replace it with other flavors (because Rocky Road is his fav, too and he doesn't want to share)and I admit that I will tolerate a little variety. The Cake batter ice cream is good, Butter Pecan and strawberry cheescake are some alternatives, but I still always go back to my old stand-by. I am not against change, I just know what I like. And, Dave will always have to share with me.

Freedom!

The semester is over, so I have the whole summer to work full time. I know it is maybe a little crazy to be excited about it, but I am thinking of all the free time I will have. With no classes or homework to worry about until I get into the nursing program this fall(thinking positive)I will have all the time after work to do whatever I want (Thanks to my wonderful husband for making dinner every night). So, I have a couple novels I want to read, a little project for Theresa's 16th birthday, and some family adventures (hiking, the Midnight showing of Harry Potter, hopefully a trip or two to Salt Lake)I am almost overwhelmed with ideas.

I started last night by re-reading The Stand by Stephen King. It is one of my favorite books ever and I have not read it for at least 10 years. Dave picked up a copy of it for me at the used bookstore early last winter, and it has been on our bookshelf in the bedroom, tempting me. I dove right in, getting through 100+ pages. I love the classic good vs. evil story, the interesting and believable characters, the fact that good wins in the end......I am such a nerd.

I also want to read a few classics--any ideas? I try to steer clear of Jane Austen, though. I am sure the books are wonderful, but I can never get into them. I have a few ideas, but I am open to suggestion as well.

I am also planning on hiking Zion, Bryce and other areas here in southern Utah. I almost have to twist Dave's arm to get him to go, and the kids run circles around me on the trail, but I love being there. The scenery, the sun, the connected feeling I get-like human kind is all a child of the earth, nature and our creator. There is nothing like the sun on your face and red dirt on your shoes, clean air in your lungs and an electric blue sky above.

Quick update

This will be a short post. I am getting ready for finals next week, lots of time at the library. Dave is holding down the fort. The kids are enjoying the nice weather. My parents are coming down to see us this weekend--I am so excited to spend time with them. I took a nap in the sun yesterday-my favorite thing so far this week. More info next time..........

Why I love him.....

Recently, we have had a little shake-up at the Mack House. I am pleased to say that our marriage still stands solid. I wrote this a few weeks ago in my Creative Writing class, and Dave needs a reminder as to why I am still by his side. So, bear with me as I stroke his ego a little bit.







The smell of roasting garlic was something new to me. Growing up, my mom used powdered garlic, and she used it sparingly. So, the papery cloves of garlic in the cupboard were just one more thing that changed. Once peeled and pressed, the cloves were usually roasted in the pan with olive oil to start almost every meal. They had a distinct, spicy smell- almost indescribable. It was a new scent for me, in this time of new scents-his deodorant, his shirts, his sour morning breath; all these aromas that came with sharing a home with a man. But, the garlic was the one that I liked the most. It filled our home every night. I would come home from work, and he would be starting on dinner. The scent of roasted garlic would fill the stair case up to our second story apartment and I would know that I was home.
The taste of the fresh garlic would explode in my mouth, filling it with excitement. How could I have lived so long and not experience the intense flavor of this wondrous little thing? The first time he made a roast, covered in minced garlic I knew that he was the man for me. His love of cooking, the passion he showed in preparing our nightly dinners –this was a man that knew how to live. He would spend hours in the tiny kitchen, chopping and stirring, teasing my senses. He didn’t always know how the dish would turn out after he tweaked the recipe; a little thyme, less pepper. He would hold the wooden spoon to my lips, a sample of the feast to come. With him, nothing is simple, nothing is predictable. Because of this, life with him is an adventure. With him, its new foods, old foods in different ways; new love and old love with the romance of a chef of life.

Those little boxes.......

I never really know what to put on a form when it asks for race/ethnic origin. I come from a biracial home, but I don’t like to label the family I belong to. We are not a label, we are unique and full of all the love and dysfunction a family can have. We don’t fit into a one letter-defined term. My dark skinned father fell in love with my pale skinned mother. My little brother and I have my father’s dark eyes and the “Vallejos” nose; my mother’s Caucasian genes lost that battle. But, we are observant and logical like my mother; she passed those traits on to us. The “other” box on those forms can’t possibly encompass all of that.
My father is the oldest child of a big Catholic Hispanic family. His youngest sister, my aunt, is almost 2 years my junior. They are a loud, physical bunch; my husband said it was like another world when he attended the first family event. You are expected to hug and kiss everybody as you greet them, coming and going. They accept anybody into their midst; race or financial status has never mattered to them. They will share their beer with any friendly face, as long as you are willing to be the brunt of the playful jokes and prodding they toss around as free as the beer bottles. Any get together is an excuse to make chili and tortillas, beans and salsa that will singe your hair. The women serve the men their food first, not because we are inferior, but because we want the last chance at the homemade tortillas-they disappear like hot cakes. I am proud to share my heritage with them, but to mark “Hispanic” on that form would deny the other half of what makes the whole me.
My mom is the youngest girl of a large LDS family. She grew up with 5 sisters and 1 little brother. She told me a story about seeing a Native American boy once when her family was traveling through Arizona. Her mother had her pose next to the boy- it was an opportunity for a picture. My mom had never seen anyone that wasn’t “white” before then. She grew up in a small town near Salt Lake; the Civil Rights movement wasn’t even a fleeting thought in her world because she only knew other “white” people and didn’t understand what the problem was. The gatherings with the Florence family were quiet, formal affairs, with planned activities and games at scheduled intervals so that everyone had fun. And, they were fun. It was a different fun that contrasted with my dad’s rowdy family perfectly. I remember getting dressed up for these gatherings, happy at a chance to wear a dress to twirl in. The food was always served around a big table with place cards. As I child, I always felt so grown up as I scanned the cards for my name. I am equally proud of this piece of me, but to mark one box means to deny the other.
Part of the reason I chose to hyphenate my name when I got married was to hold on to both identities. I am truly a mix of these two races and cultures. My husband teases me about being “the worst Mexican ever” when I scoff at his spicy foods. I have been lucky to have never experienced racism fist hand, but I have always wondered if it was because I could “pass” as white. I hate the form for wanting to fit me into a little box. I hate the fact that we have to have little boxes in the first place.






P.S. Okay, so I was depressed last week, but seeing Dave for 1 day this weekend and well wishes from my good friends made it better.

Random thoughts

Dave is still out of town. Our Pontiac ate its own transmission. I am still learning to drive a stick shift. The pressure at school is increasing as we reach the end of the semester. I am worried about my grades. I just need a all-encompassing hug from my husband. Is anyone reading this? At any rate, it is good to let it out. I am trying to see the bright side, but it seems as though the clouds keep rolling in. I know it will get better, that God will give me the strength to handle it, that Dave will be home from his business trip soon. I will stick it out......this is a moment in the expanse of my life.

Run, Heather, run!

Heather has another track meet this weekend. Last weekend she took 1st with the shot-put and 2nd in hurdles. She is well on her way to qualifying for state, and is so motivated. She goes to practice everyday for 3 hours, and still manages to keep her grades up. I am glad that she has something to be passionate about; and she excels because of that passion. Go Cedar Reds! Hopefully the weather wont be too cold for those little track shorts!

On this fine Spring Day

Dave is in Nevada; back to work but on light duty. He had to go up to help the guys at the site in Winnemucca and may gone for as long as 2 weeks. I hate it when he is gone, I have become so accostomed to him just being there; his belly laughs and playful winks. I am staying busy with Chemistry, and other school work.
The girls have been wandering in the mountains by our house untill it gets dark or they get hungry. I made Heather put in 3 job applications; she really needs to find a job this summer. This is the summer before Heather's senior year, and as much as I hate to say it, she needs to get serious about life and college. It is likely that she will get a track scholarship, but she doesn't sound excited about going to college at all. Theresa will be busy with her art calss and some volunteer work, all for the ever important college application in a few years, and she is already excited about college. Drew is doing well in school, he will be in high school next year. I talk to him on the phone often, his deep voice still suprises me. He still has a few years of non-serious life to enjoy. I want to see them all go on to college, right after high school, so that they can enjoy all that come with it. The srping-break trips, the adventures of a young single adult......I really want that for them.

SO close, but so far

I recieved my much awaited SUU Department of Nursing envelope this week in the mail. It was a big, brown envelope, so I knew right away that it would be good news. Out of 100 + applicants, I was placed in the top 35. The program only accepts 20 students a semester as well as 15 alternates, and I am one of those 15 alternates. I was a little frustrated, to say the least. I have worked so hard these last couple of years, and dang it, I will make an awesome nurse! But, because it is so competitive, and my GPA is a little low (since when is a B average a little low? Do they not take into account that I have 3 kids, a husband, a job and an addiction to facebook? ) I will be accepted if another applicant does not want their spot. I don't know where on that list of alternates I fall, but I am hopeful that I will be starting the official nursing program in the fall. If not, there is always Spring semester. So, send me some good karma, please.

Advice for the ones I love.......

1. Take a ten to thirty minute walk every day. While you walk, smile.
It is the ultimate anti-depressant.
2. Sit in silence for at least ten minutes each day.
3. Buy a DVR to tape your late night shows. Get more sleep as a
result.
4. When you wake in the morning, complete the following statement, 'My
purpose is to _______ today.'
5. Live with the three E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.
6. Play more games and read more books than you did in 2008.
7. Make time to meditate and pray. This will provide daily fuel for your busy life.
8. Spend time with people over the age of seventy and under the age of six.
9. Dream more while you are awake.
10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants. Eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
11. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, Alaskan
salmon, broccoli, almonds and walnuts.
12. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
13. Clear clutter from your house, your car, your desk and your mind.
Let new and flowing energy into your life.
14. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, issues of the past,
negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the POSITIVE present moment.
15. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems
are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra
class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime .
16. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a
college kid with a maxed-out credit card.
17. Smile and laugh more. It will keep the NEGATIVE BLUES away.
18. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
20. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
21. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
22. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
23. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their
journey is all about.
24. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
25. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: 'In five years(or sometimes in even a month!), will this matter?'
26. Forgive everyone for everything.
27. What other people think of you is none of your business.
28. REMEMBER - GOD heals everything.
29. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
30. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends
will. Stay in touch.
31. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
32. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
33. The best is yet to come.
34. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
35. Do the right thing!
36. Call your family often. (Or email them to death!) 37. At night, complete the following statements: I am thankful for_____. Today I accomplished _____.
38. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.
39. Enjoy the ride. This is not Disney World and you certainly don't
want a fast pass. You have only one ride through life so make the most of it. Enjoy the ride!

Dave on Drugs

So, the surgery went well. They had to "clean up" a lot of damage in the joint. It took about 2 1/2 hours, they did it arthroscopicaly (with a little camera) so the recovery will go much more quickly. We have a cool wrap for his shoulder that circulates ice water. Dr Nakken told us that we can expect the joint to be stiff for about 1 year. We follow up at his office in 2 weeks.
Dave is taking Lortab. Those of you that know him know that he gets all lovey and cuddly when he has had a few drinks; the lortab seems to have the same effect on him. He keeps telling me how very much he loves me and the remote control, and Pepsi. I have been trying to make sure he is okay,going to school and work and trying to fit homework in there as well. He is still sort of groggy from the anesthesia and doesn't have much of an appetite for anything except the beloved Pepsi.

Miss Smarty Pants

Theresa has been asked to take an AP art class this summer, as a sophomore. This is usually something that only seniors get to do, but her art teacher was so impressed with her work he wanted to include her. She is also in line for 3 or four certificates of merit in other subjects. We have got a really smart and talented girl on our hands!

The first picture was taken fall of 2007, the next one in early fall of 2008. I can't believe how much they all changed in 1 year!

The Latest and Greatest

I came across this pic the other day. It is one of my favorites. The kids are growing up so fast. Heather has matured a lot over the last few months and is finally taking school more seroiusly. Theresa will be doing "extracirricular" volunteer work this summer. Drew is growing into a young man before my eyes.

The One-armed Wonder

So, a little update on Dave's shoulder. We went in for the MRI last Tuesday in St. George. I took the afternoon off work to go with him, and we even managed to make a little date of it. We took the films in to see Dr Nakken, an ortho in Cedar City, and he told us that there was definitely a tear in one of the ligaments. He sent Dave to get some physical therapy before we do surgery so he could have more range of motion. This will help with the recovery. Dave had his 1st day of PT and felt so much better to be able to move his arm again. We will see the ortho again in 2 weeks and take it from there.

Family Dinner

This is a poem I wrote for class. I think it gives a whimsical light on dinner at our house. Enjoy!

Family Dinner

The pot of soup bubbled like a sorcerer’s brew.

An elixir of pickled rats’ feet and the wings of horseflies,

Mixed with the tears of a young girl with a broken heart.

He had been preparing ingredients all day; chopping fish heads and mouse tails

Stirring in some powdered lizard’s tongue for good measure.

The steam from the brew rose in haunting spirals and filled the kitchen with intoxicating scents.

It held a magical power; his helpless spawn gathered around

With their mouths open like famished baby birds, not sure of what lured them in.

They sipped from the ladle, unaware of the potion’s enchantment.

When the time came and the pot got one last counter-clockwise stir,

The spawn were eager for their own helping.

They spooned it greedily, pausing only to dip their bread into the brew.

The sound of their consumption was the only language this cluster of offspring had shared.

He sat back and smiled, his arms folded over his chest.

A gesture of the triumph to come.

Soon their slurps became quiet, dainty even, as they spoke to him of wizard sports,

Kissing frogs, and the latest trends in pointed hats.

The spell had been cast; they had been tricked into telling him their secrets.

A cackle of joy escaped his lips.