Testing her wings

Heather moved out. Not officially, she is staying with a friend. She took most of her clothes and states the she will get the rest of her stuff later. I have mixed feelings about all of this.

On one hand, I am happy that she made the grown up decision to live somewhere else. She did not want to follow the rules we had made for her, so the choice was to do it anyway or find somewhere else to live. I am glad that she is out there, testing her wings, trying things out on her own. It is hard to let her go make her own mistakes, but I know in my heart that it is the only way to learn certain lessons. I wish her luck, and I hope that she knows we will be there to help her should she need us. Note that I said help--not rescue.

I remember moving out of my parents house, moving in with Jeremy and his family. It was fun at first, I felt so grown-up. The life at his parents house was so drastically different from what I had grown up with that I soon became homesick. I moved back home within 6 months. But, it was mostly because Jeremy and I were not getting along. And, I needed help with Drew.

On the other hand, we have resorted to communicating with her through facebook. (Is this just a generation gap--am I crazy to want a real conversation?) I have sent her messages to call us, or to come by for dinner. Her reply is "I miss you, too. I will call later. I will come over some time." She did call Dave this week and made arrangements to take him out for his birthday. The truth is, I miss her. I don't want to smother her if she needs this "space" to grow up and assert her adulthood, but I want to talk to her, to know what's going on in her life.

Should I call her? Or let her come to me when she is ready? We had our disagreements, but when she left there was no anger. She just came home one Saturday and said that she found a job and was going to stay with a friend for awhile. I told her to please call and check in with me, because I want to know that she is okay. That is the last time she actually talked to me. It has been 3 weeks.

It is hard to know what to do. Dave says that she will start to miss his cooking soon, and she will come around. I just want her to know that she is still a part of our family and we still want to spend time with her.

Is it like this for every mom? I am sooo not a good empty-nester. (Or maybe I am, I don't really know)