Maybe, I am not alone

I was a teen mom. All of you already know that, but it is a part of who I am and the effects of becoming a parent at such a young age still come up in my life. Now, looking back, I would not change mine and Drew's experience for the world. It taught me so much about love, family and realizing that I am stronger than I think I am. Drew was born almost 2 months early, and started life with 2 strikes against him--as the son of two scared teenagers and as a preemie. I think that Jer and I did our best to help him overcome those challenges. Still, I do have some regrets. At 18, I did not have the patience or perspective to always put Drew first. I simply just did not know any better. That wisdom and understanding only come with age and experience as an adult. Drew and I grew up a lot, together. I remeber certain situations and decisions where I though I knew what I was doing. I was just a kid. I didn't have confidence in myself or the humility needed to ask for help.

I was lucky to have such a supportive family. And, it was not only my family, but Jeremy's as well. Jeremy's mom still makes a genuine effort to stay in touch with me and be a part of my life, giving what she can. Scott, (Jeremy's little brother) was the best baby sitter a girl could ask for. My mom showed such patience and understanding. Maybe those are things that would have come naturally to me if I were older. I think that everything about motherhood scared the crap out of me. My dad was Drew's best friend willing to play with him for hours and my ally in the potty-training challenge. And, despite all of our differences, Jeremy has always been a great dad to our son.

I can relate to the mothers on MTV's Teen Mom & 16 and Pregnant. There has been some media attention lately about how these shows are glorifying teen pregnancy. I wonder if those that say that have actually watched these shows. True, these girls may not be the best role models or deserve to be "celebrities", but I admire their courage to share their everyday, not always flattering, lives as teen parents. As far as their celebrity status goes, I wonder what makes them any better or worse than other celebrity specimens. Since when has being famous in this country meant that you are a good role model?

We watch these shows as a family. I want my kids to see that there are consequences to the decisions that they make. Sometimes those decisions will affect the rest of their lives. I want them to see what it is really like to have a baby. I want them to talk to me about how they feel about pre marital sex. I want them to see how these young couples struggle with parenthood. I want them to see that most of the time, these teens say that they wish they would have waited to become parents.

Drew has turned out to be a good kid, and I can't take credit for all (or even most ) of that. Now, as I deal with my 3 children in their teen years, I can't help but wonder that if I had a few more years of life experience would I would be a better mom? Maybe I would have the patience not to loose my temper so quickly, or the ability to not lecture when I only want to guide them in the right direction. Maybe I would be better able to offer a hug instead of a criticism. For the most part, I do the best that I know how. Sometimes, I feel like I don't know anything about how to parent a teenager. I always tell them that I want what is best for them, that I want them to have a better life than mine. I know that I love them, I am proud of the people that they have become. Maybe all parents have these questions and doubts.