Self inspiration.....when times get tough

I wrote this essay for a class when I started here at SUU. When I feel like slacking off, I get it out and read it to remind myself that the hard work is worth it. Sometimes I need a little motivation to be my best.





I see my academic life as a block of wood. This piece of wood has all the potential in the world to become a beautiful sculpture or it can remain just a block of wood. I have always been a smart, curious and determined person. In school, my teachers would tell me “You are bright, but your work doesn’t reflect your intelligence. You would get better grades if you would just turn in your assignments.” It was the same things that held me back year after year. I would start my assignments and projects with all the gusto in the world. Then when things got challenging or didn’t go the way I had planned, I was quick to give up or turn in a semi-completed assignment. I knew that I could do better. The problem was that I didn’t know how to do better. I knew what I wanted, but not how to get it. These problems damaged my block of wood.


I had some bad habits engrained into my academic life. Because I knew that I could turn out “acceptable” work the night before it was due, I would procrastinate until the last possible second. I would make any excuse to myself to justify putting the work off. I would do the bare minimum of the required work and blame the teacher for my poor progress. I would loose sight of the big picture; the reason I was in school in the first place. I never asked for help or met with a teacher when I was having problems. It seemed that school would always be something that I would have to struggle with. I had this marred, beaten piece of wood, and these blemishes need to be sanded and smoothed.


Now, I have a wood shop of academic tools and skills at my disposal. I know that I can overcome the pull of procrastination and blame by taking responsibility for my thoughts and managing my time. I study smart by involving color and movement, preview, and input/output techniques. I pay attention to my inner voice and direct it, inspire it, recharge it. I see my professors as partners in my education and know that they want me to succeed. I utilize programs and services offered by the University, such as tutoring and advising. I keep the big picture in mind, and remind myself that it will all be worth it. I display visual reminders of what I want to achieve so that it is constantly on my mind. I give my work my best effort at all times, not for the grade but for my own sense of accomplishment. My block of wood is beginning to turn into something spectacular.


Even with my array of skills and tools, I still have work to do. These tools are brand new, and they are bound to cause a few blisters. I still have trouble with procrastination. There are evenings when I loose my motivation and I convince myself that I need a break. The problem is I end up taking “a break” all night and pay the price for the rest of the week. I will schedule some free time for myself that includes a weekly family night, a bi-weekly date with my husband and a night out with my friends every month, and I will feel good about doing it. I will let go of guilt and blame. I will choose to overcome challenges by asking for help when I need it and believing in myself. I will be determined and focused and I will face challenges with excitement and courage. I plan to stay in touch with my goals. My block is going to need my time and attention to become a finished piece of art.


I know how to get what I want, and I have the power to get it. The possibilities of the world are on my doorstep. I plan to work hard, enjoy the stimulation of college life, and I will get my college degree. I plan to be Angie Mack, RN. I will take my block of wood and make it into something amazing.

Quirky Ang

These are some of the weird/odd/strange things I do. I saw this on Becca's blog a while ago, have been meaning to do it ever since. Here of some of the things that make me the silly girl I am.


1. When I eat potato chips, I have to eat the broken ones first. I like to sort my food, I have to match my french fries by size and eat 2 that are the same size at a time. I sort a lot of things like this--- carrot sticks, pretzels, etc.


2. I can't have the TV or the radio up too loud. It makes me feel anxious and distracted. I constantly tell Dave and the kids "turn it down!" Sometimes all I have to do is gave Dave a certain look and he'll grab the remote. I think I may have ADD, or OCD.


3. I love a clean toilet. I clean ours 2-3 times a week. When it is all shiny and smells like bleach I am happy. I love having a clean house and am never fully relaxed until it is clean and organized. I used to be a lot worse, Dave has helped me able to let things go.........sometimes........


4. I don't like to be late. In fact if I am not 10 mins early, I feel like I am late.


5. I have lip stuff on me at all times. When I was a Kid, I used to eat my dad's cherry chapstick whenever I got my hands on it.(I was 3-4 years old) I have an obsession with lip gloss, chapstick, and lipsmackers. I have a tube in my purse, one in my car, 2 at my desk at wort and about 5 back ups in my bathroom drawer.


6. After reading this, I realize I must have OCD.

Honest, useful advice. How about that for a change.

I have hesitated posting that I am trying to lose weight. I am not sure why, really. Maybe it's because if I just gave up, only Dave would know about it (as nothing in my life is a secret from him). Or maybe I was afraid of being judged on something I am rather sensitive about. But, as I have been making a conscious effort since November to make better food choices (eat less junk and eat more fruits and veggies, smaller portions, all that) I feel like I'm not really giving up a lot. I have actually been excited about eating more fruit. I feel better, physically and emotionally.


It all started with Regan. She is a dietitian employed by our clinic to run a weight loss program. We, as employees get to participate. As part of the program, we had a one-on-one meeting with Regan. In this meeting, she talked to me about my lifestyle, my eating habits and most importantly, my feelings about food. I found a mentor in her (She has successfully lost 80+ pounds and changed her life.) We set realistic, honest goals, and it is working. We also have a weekly weigh in and support group that helps me be accountable to someone. I started counting calories and measuring portions. I am satisfied with just a little ice cream, if I even eat it at all. I am amazed at how easy it is, most of the time.


There are hard days, there have been days when I didn't count calories because I just didn't care. The holidays were hard, there was chocolate everywhere I looked. Sometimes I feel deprived. But, I try not to see this as a "diet". It is my new life. I start everyday new. I get support from Dave and my coworkers. I am not mean to myself when I make a bad choice and I strive to do better next time. And, when I have a hard time, Regan's blog always helps. I love to read it. There is an honesty and humor that I can soooo relate to. It makes all the difference some days. I would like to share it with all of you. I have also added her to my "staying connected" links.



http://www.reganwilsonrd.com/

Resolve, every day

I like to set Resolutions because I like to set goals. And, I don't just do it on New Years. I set small goals everyday (today, I will not eat the candy in the office) and big goals that take a little work everyday (I will have a happy marriage). I constantly work towards professional, school and persona goals. One step at a time, and those small steps add up fast! I don't always succeed, but if there is a failure it is ususally small and I start the next day fresh. Tomorrow is always (almost always) better than today. And, I learn from my mistakes. Sometimes the lesson is hard but it always helps me grow emotionally and spiritually. I guess being an eternal optimist helps.

Why I love Facebook

I have never been really good at staying in touch with people. I always have the best intentions, but something goes wrong between intentions and actions. I love the fact that I can log in and see what my family is up to. I know that my aunts celebrated the new year with Jose Cuervo. I know that Hiram saw Avatar. I see what Crystal and Teri are planning. I love it! In less than 10 mins I can send a quick "hello" or comment to friends all around the country and see their answers to the endless, silly personality quizzes (I just found out what 80's song I am.)

With FB, I can keep in touch. I can see pictures of my family and friends. I can laugh along with my aunt 300 miles away. I have gotten to know my dad's cousins, Dave's high school buddy, and satisfied my nostalgia for high school friends. I get support when I am feeling down, encouragement when things get tough. How did I ever live without it?